Ah, Christmastide. It is that magical time of year when we jam into crowded shopping malls while elbowing each other to grab that last popular toy, so as to declare it is a time of peace and goodwill to all humankind. It is a time to bid our diets farewell and a time to say hello to our comfy couches. Anyway, how much do you really know about the festive holiday season?
Try to solve without Googling first.
Spoiler Alert – Answers are at bottom of page.
1) What happened to anyone in the American colonies who was caught celebrating Christmas between the years 1659 to 1681?
a) They were forced to listen to annoying Taylor Swift music for the entire month of December
b) They were put in a pillory and pelted with rotten fruits and vegetables
c) They were fined
d) They were forced to watched endless 0-0 soccer matches
e) Nothing, as Christmas was perfectly legal
2) The German word for mistletoe roughly translates to:
a) A romantic kiss would be nice
b) Festive holiday greenery
c) Toe of the Mistle
d) Your breath smells like bratwurst
e) Bird dung on a twig
3) The first recorded Christmas celebration was held in Rome, Italy, on December 25th in the year:
a) 336
b) 536
c) 736
d) 936
4) In the Rankin/Bass cartoons, who is the only female reindeer to pull Santa’s sleigh?
a) Prancer
b) Vixen
c) Cupid
d) Blitzen
5) How long did it take Charles Dickens to write A Christmas Carol?
a) Six days
b) Six weeks
c) Six months
d) Six years
6) Fill in the Blank – Christmas Eve will find me, where the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ gleams (from the song I’ll Be Home for Christmas) (nine letters)
7) What year was Mrs. Claus first mentioned in a short story?
a) 1649
b) 1749
c) 1849
d) 1949
8) Which is NOT the name of one of Santa’s six original elves?
a) Bushy Evergreen
b) Sugarplum Mary
c) Alabaster Snowball
d) Cinna Monstix
e) Pepper Minstix
f) Shinny Upatree
g) Wunorse Openslae
9) Which type of Christmas tree is so known for its scent that it inspires candles and home sprays?
a) Scotch Pine
b) Balsam Fir
c) Canaan Fir
d) Noble Fir
10) True or False – The German name for Santa Claus is Weihnachtsmann, which literally means Christmas Man.
11) Which is often considered the worst holiday film or television show?
a) The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
b) An Obnoxious Christmas With the Kardashians
c) An Arid Christmas in the Kalahari Desert
d) A Redneck RV Stay at Walmart Christmas Tale
e) An Unemployed Holiday Visiting Our Chatty Relatives
12) True or False – Scientifically speaking, a reindeer and a caribou are completely different animals.
13) In ancient times, what would happen to the person who found a string bean in the Christmas Cake?
a) They would pass out in disgust
b) They would be sentenced to death
c) They would be made mayor of the town
d) They would lead the evening’s festivities
14) Why did there used to be so many Christmas weddings?
a) Well, men figured they might as well add some misery to an otherwise festive occasion
b) Couples were given a Christmas company bonus worth 500 dollars
c) It was just an incredible coincidence
d) December 25th and December 26th were the only two days working-class couples definitely did not have to work each year
Answers:
1 c
2 e
3 a
4 b
5 b
6 Lovelight
7 c
8 d
9 b
10 True
11 a
12 False
13 d
14 d
Scoring:
14 Correct – You are cordially invited to spend a year living at the North Pole with Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus
10-13 Correct – You love Christmas but really miss that cool Turkey Parade
5-9 Correct – You like Christmas but quite frankly are ready for beach weather
1-4 Correct – You are allergic to mistletoe, good tidings, and Santa’s cologne
0 Correct – You must spend the remainder of 2022 in a giant stale gingerbread house with The Osmonds, Justin Bieber,
and an unknown German reggae band whilst they eat assorted salty Christmas snacks, argue about who is the greatest
salsa dancer in history, paint each other’s toenails in festive holiday colors, and perform ancient Finnish folk songs
